American Idol!

According to the poll, you guys are right there with me in the shows you are most looking forward to. My first (if you've been paying ANY attention, you would know this) is LOST and then American Idol and then Big Brother and Jericho. This happens to also be the exact same order of the results of the voting this time. But the focus of this post is my adoration for the American Idol. Since so many of you voted for it, I now feel that I can talk about it on here. I know some of you who haven't watched it in the past may start watching it this season due to the complete lack of other shows because of the writer's strike. Now you'll just find out what you've been missing.

So as the show begins I present...

Ashley's Top Ten Pieces of Advice For Auditioners of American Idol

1. Do not wear a costume. It will not distract the judges from how badly you sing.
2. Do not sing any of Simon's favorite songs. That includes Unchained Melody and Mack the Knife. He has a standard for those and you are below it.
3. Unless your name starts with C and ends with hristina Aguilera, do not FOR ANY REASON sing Lady Marmalade. Seriously. You will be bad.
4. Do not attempt any song made famous by a former American Idol. Especially Kelly Clarkson. They are way better than you.
5. Do not sing a song that is typically heard at a wedding, such as Celebration or YMCA. You will sound even worse than you actually are.
6. Less than 1% of people can handle singing Whitney, Aretha, Celine, and Mariah. You are not one of them.
7. Do not dance. If you feel like dancing, head over to that crapfest Dance War on ABC. This is a singing competition.
8. Do not beg or cry. We don't want to hear your sob story. It won't affect your ability to sing.
9. If you suck at your first song, don't ask to sing another one. You'll still suck.
10. Memorize your lyrics, moron.

We'll see how many of these are not followed in the first night. I have Bible study during the show Tuesday night, but I may stay up and watch it when I get home, depending on how late it is. If not, I'll be back Wednesday with my opinions of the show for both days. Who else is going to be watching and if you are, do you have any advice I may have left out for those auditioning?


  1. I think it's already set up on my DVR to tape. Wow, you pretty much covered Everything, except maybe, "don't be too theatrical or they will say you belong on broadway or a cruise ship... " I don't like the auditions as much b/c I like to see people who can actually sing later in the competition. The auditions are a joke anyway. All those awful singers who try out have been pre-screened and selected for our entertainment pleasure.

  2. Thanks for the comment Ash... it's good to know someone understands my pain!

    Some kudos for your blog:
    1. Love the Idol blog
    2. Can't wait until LOST... I am on the edge of my seat over here!
    3. You are like the most creative person I know! :) Love the pics... love the lists... love it all!

    Love ya girl!