Kid Quotes 61-80

"I am six and a half point one percent Native American"

"I think that I grow three inches every day. Yeah, that's right. Three inches."

While walking around staring at her hands, I ask her what she's doing... "Nothing, just deciding which one is my favorite hand."

"I'm a sandwich!" ‑ Ruben

"I think I accidentally ate my band‑aid"

Me: There are many kinds of gases. One of them comes out of your mouth when you breathe out.
Kid: Sometimes gas comes out the other end too!

Me: You can't see, feel, or taste gases.
Kid: Yeah, you CAN taste it! It tastes like... watermelon!

"It depends on when you were born, not when your birthday was..."
(me: "what?!")
"Well, first you were born, then after a whole bunch of years... um, I don't know what I'm talking about"

"If you were my mom, you would probably ground me all the time just like my mom does"

"It costs more to go buy a baby than to get it out of your tummy."

"Buying a baby is better than having one because then you can pick if you want a boy or girl"

"Limited Too is for freeloaders."

"That freaked my guts out of me!"

We were reading a book about rainforests and it had a drawing of a kid (behind a bush) with no clothes on... Kid 1: That kid doesn't have any clothes on!
Kid 2: Of course he doesn't have clothes on! They're in the rainforest! It's not like he can go to Old Navy and get some!

Me: The equator is an imaginary line that goes around the earth. You can't see it.
Kid: But you can HEAR it!

"My stomach bone hurts"

said to one of the kids who had spiked his hair today... "You look like my goat when he's scared!"

"Have you seen that one movie? I can't remember what it's called, but it's about a Secret Garden."

"Is Canada a desert?"

talking about liquids and solids...
Me: If you put Goldfish crackers into a bowl, what shape would they become Colin?
Colin: Goldfish crackers and what do germs look like?