Kid Quotes 41-60

Kid: (running up screaming...) These fruit snacks are FAT FREE!!!
Me: OK
Kid: What does fat free mean?
Me: It doesn't have any fat in it.
Kid: Of course it doesn't have fat in it. It's not meat. Meat's the only thing with fat in it.

"My grandmother is so lucky. She's 105 and she's never even died!"

"Well if you know everything, then how many people are in Heaven?"

(To me:) "You don't work! Work means you have a job and you use a computer and you make stuff. Do YOU make stuff?"

"You have a baby only when the potion turns blue."

"When you kiss your husband, if you ever get one, right when you kiss him you get a big belly and have a baby."

"I have a girlfriend, but I can't remember what her name is."

Kid: Can you come over to my house for milk and cookies?
Me: I don't know where you live.
Kid: Well then I can come to your house.
Me: But you don't know where I live.
Kid: Yes I do. You live in the apartment.

"I'm allowed to talk about God. I'm Catholic."

Kid: Is college more important than playing?
Me: yes?
Kid: So college is more important than playing outside?
Me: Yes.
Kid: So I don't need to bring my money for college for the park?
Me: No, save your money.
(We were raising money to build a park in town.)

"My grandma knows everyone's phone number. Even God's phone number!"

"I know where rainbows come from. Boston!"

Kid 1: Boo St Patrick's Day!

Kid 2: Don't boo ‑ he's gonna bring you gold!

Kid 3: He doesn't bring gold. He only brings four‑leaf clovers.

Kid: You know what my favorite movie ever is?

Me: No, what?

Kid: Well, not really movie, but color.

Me: Ok. What?

Kid: Khaki!

"My eyelashes are too long. They keep getting in my eyes and I'm having trouble seeing."

"For Spring Break I'm going to Hawaii and Six Flags and Hurricane Harbor and San Antonio and then we might roast hot dogs and marshmallows and we might have someone spend the night."


Q: Why couldn't the elephant eat the peanut?

A: Because it was too elephanting up.

Q: Why couldn't the kid get into the movie?

A: It was rated R.

Knock Knock

Who's there?


Bull who?


Q: Why couldn't the cat go to the store?

A: Because cat in the hat