Kid Quotes 101-120

kid giving an example of greater than: "One million is greater than, um, eiiiiiighteeeeeen... NO! eighty... eight! yeah! eighty‑eight!"

to me after drawing a football on the board... "Did you used to be an ARTIST?"

after telling her we're getting our science books today: "When do we get to do potions?"

"I've been playing soccer for TEN YEARS!"

after seeing a picture of Jon, they all started asking normal get‑to‑know‑someone questions like "how old is he?", "what is his job?", "what is his name?", and so on, and then one youngin' asked the one question that I always ask when I want to know about someone...
"How many teeth does he have?"

Kid: I ate dog food once.
Me: Why?
Kid: My dad dared me to.

trying to tell me he's confused about a math problem... "I'm complicated"

after reading a coloring book type story of the olympics, and told they could color it...
"Can we just leave it like it is without color so it looks like the 80's?"

"There was a tarantula in a hole in a tree and it had lots of bright colors and then a tennis ball went into the hole and then they pulled the tennis ball out and the tarantula went into the house and got into a coffee cup on the handle part, not the cup part, and then they picked up the cup and the tarantula went into a pop and couldn't get out and then looked up and said maybe a straw could save me."

"It feels like it's NINETY NINE degrees out there! ... ONE time it WAS 99 degrees!"

Kid: If I don't eat soon, I'm going to examinate!
Me: What's that?
Kid: Disappear!

putting together a USA puzzle... "God made North Carolina upside‑down!"

today was a red ozone day... "Hold your breath! It's a bad day!"

Kid: Are you going to invite us to your wedding?
Me: Sure!
Whines About EVERYTHING Kid: My mom is going to forgeeeeeeeet!

Most Annoying Kid, the constant talker, was absent today...
Me: Ok, I need y'all to get quiet...
Kid: (Most Annoying Kid's Name)!

Said in almost the same exact voice as Napoleon Dynamite said "my lips hurt real bad!"...
"I'm not done yet and my thumb hurts real bad!"

"Blood tastes like cupcakes with rotten eggs on them."

(I ususally listen to KSBJ, the Christian radio station in Houston, on my computer during my conference period and often forget to turn it off before they come back in. Today I did that exact thing and got the following question...)
"Is that your favorite rock CD?"

Kid: Other Kid said two potty words!
Me: What did she say?
Kid: The yellow one and the brown one!

While reading outloud to the class, I had to stop and tell them to get quiet about a million times. I said "I'm never going to be able to finish this book!" and I got the response:
"Have faith in yourself!"


  1. I just about peed myself laughing. Each day, I tell myself I need to write stuff down. I think now I have to, b/c that was too darn funny.

    I have a girl that constantly sounds like day she actually said, "Mrs. mom says I'm a super fabulous dancer..." Just like Napoleon.

    I also have an Urkel-like child. Only an asian girl version. Freaky, but spot-on.

    Oh, we should talk more...