Kid Quotes 201-220

These are the last of the first grader quotes. Aw.

I was showing them our engagement pictures...
Kid: Did you take one kissing?
Me: Yes.
Kid 2: Will you show it to us?
Me: No.
Kid 3: Yeah, she doesn't want us to know all her darkest secrets!

Kid: What are you drinking?
Me: Cherry Vanilla Diet Coke
Kid: Are you on a diet?
Me: Sort of.
Kid: Are you trying to get skinny for your wedding?
Me: Yes.
Kid 2: Oh! I know why you are on a diet!
Me: Why?
Kid 2: So you can be faster!
Me: What?
Kid 2: You know, in case y'all want to race or something, you can be faster.

"Hey! Guess what! I named my scabs! This one is named hurty, and this one is named painy."
later in the day...
"Everyone keeps on hurting painy!"

Kid: What's a deadly germ? I killed a deadly germ once.
Me: How?
Kid: I squashed it. With my pencil.

Kid 1 to Kid 2: Your breath smells like soy milk.

Kid: How long does it take to get a baby?
Me: um, what?!
Kid: How long does it take for you to get a baby?
Me: um, 9 months.
Kid: NO, how long does it take for a doctor to get a baby out of you?
Me: It's different for everyone, sometimes 24 hours or more, sometimes a few hours.
Kid : (shocked face)

Kid 1: Women are more important than men. We couldn't survive without them because they have babies.
Kid 2: Nu‑uh! Men are more important!
Kid 1: No, women are!
Kid 2: No, because men, like, make chairs and stuff.

Me: Name some foods that come from plants.
Kid 1: Meat.
Me: No, what does meat come from?
Kid 2: Animals!
Me: Right.
Kid 1: No! My dad said he saw a meat tree once!

"Out of all the people in my family, I'm the most corn."

"My dad said I cost alot of money. Do you have to buy a baby?"

"Miss Hartman, what's your last name?"

(I had a huge bruise on my arm right now where they messed up at the doctor taking my blood...)
Me: The marker's not working...
Kid: Maybe it's afraid of that bruise! (this is one of my favorite quotes ever)

after stepping on my foot...
Me: You stepped on my foot.
Kid: oh
Me: And you should say...?
Kid: ...president?
Kid: I mean, thank you?
Me: Try again.
Kid: Sorry.
Me: Much better. Go to music.

"Are the Dallas Mavericks a high school team?"

Kid: Miss Hartman, what's your favorite pro football team?
Me: I don't really have one.
Kid: Mine's the Aledo Bearcats! (The mascot at the high school from our district)

Me: Name some words that have "er" in them.
Kid: Joiner!
Me: Well, that's not really a word
Kid: Yeah it is! It's someone who joins something, like "Santa is a joiner"

Question to Show‑and‑Teller: Why do girls like Barbies so much?
Show‑and‑Teller: Yeah, girls always like Barbies and boys always like motorcycles.
Other Kid: Boys just like hitting. (hits self in face)

seeing them getting ready for my shower across the hall...
Kid: What's happening in there?
Other teacher: We're getting ready for Miss Hartman's shower.
Kid: Doesn't she do that at her house?

Kid: Happy Birthday!
Me: It's not my birthday. They're having a shower for me.
Kid: I know. Happy birthday anyway!

while lying on the floor under Hunter's desk... "Hunter won't stop stepping on me!"

Coming up next on Kid Quotes... Fourth Grader Quotes!