Kid Quotes 331-352

I'm kind of surprised at the lack of comments about the kid quotes. I think they're hilarious! Don't feel obligated though. Continuing on with the 2005-2006 fourth graders...

Kid 1: (singing) I'm in love with a stripper.
Me: Stop singing that!
Kid 1: Why?
Me: It's inappropriate.
Kid 2: (whispering) Yeah, they take their clothes off, man!

The next three quotes were all said by the same kid:
"We're going to Mardi Gras this weekend and my dad said my mom isn't allowed to drive back."

After the weekend... "I got some beads! You wanna know how? By flashing my titties."

And to another teacher: "I got beads by mooning someone"
Teacher: Where was your mother during all this?
Kid: In the car with a can.

"OK, don't take this wrong. Your momma's so fat she jumped in the ocean and the whales started singing 'We are family. Even though you're bigger than me.' (me staring at him) So you see. Whales are fat. But your momma's fatter. Don't take it wrong."

During the writing multiple choice section of the state test the smartest kid in 4th grade raises her hand... whispering: "I thought that a thesaurus was a dinosaur!"

"If you're sick, then why are you wearing a skirt?"

"Do you know my social security number?"

4th Grade Space Camp Quotes

We had a 12 hour bus ride with 37 4th graders then three full days with them. They had a lot of funny stuff to say...

While at a truck stop, he points at a shack nearby and says... "I'm 5% sure that my ancestors lived in that house."

"I weigh too little to pronounce it"

Kid: Did you wear that on Sunday?
Me: Today IS Sunday.
Kid: Aw, you smart. D----- fell for it.

"McDonald's fries suck now. They changed the oil."

Looking at a McDonald's apple pie box that a kid handed me... "Is that a camera?"

"My definition of square dancing is putting on a cowboy hat and jumping around."

Kid: We were taking my dog to the vet because we thought he was bleeding, then we realized it was just Mexican candy.
Me: What's Mexican candy?
Kid: You know, that stuff with a spoon where one side is watermelon flavored and the other side is Mexican flavored.

After riding G-Force, one of those rides that spins and presses you against the wall... "I feel skinnier."

Space Camp Staff Guy: What did the Chinese come up with that was important to space exploration?
Kid: Fortune Cookies?

While standing on a scale, squatting...
"I'm putting all my strength in my legs. I'm trying to weigh more!"

"What's Tang? It's Tangy!"

Holding up a girl's swimsuit... "Is this for girls or boys?"

Doing a commercial for beef jerky... "Are you tired of eating normal beef?"

Talking about the shower in the dorm... "I'm gonna stay in there all night 'cause the water bill's free!"


  1. I don't comment much but I really like the quotes. They're really funny. :)