about valentines: "I know why it's Valen, with an L... because of loooooooove!"

"My mom doesn't work and stays at home. Well, she takes care of the horses, so I guess she's kind of a Home Mom Horse Girl."

Kid: I like that song, Green Bay. They play it but they don't beep out the bad words. They beep out one but then they don't beep out the others.
Me: Are you talking about Green DAY?
Kid: No, Green Bay.
a few minutes later...
Kid: Yeah I like that song. It's like "I don't want to be an American," and then they say the bad word.

"My head hurts when I walk on it"

"I went to New Mexico once! They have a GREAT candy store! I got ice cream!"

Kid 1 (talking about Kid 2's brother): He's a cutie pie!
Kid 2: He's not a PIE! You can't eat him!

after telling them AGAIN about me moving to Texarkana, which is on the border of Texas and Arkansas... "Arkansas! I went there once! I had to go to the bathroom!"

Kid: So you're going to live on the border?
Me: Yeah, close to it.
Kid: You're gonna live in a RESTAURANT?!

Q: What do you call a skunk without a tail?
A: A stunker

Q: What do you call a porcupine that lost it's spines?
A: A pinester

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Gesundheit.
Gesundheit who?
Bless you!

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because they hadn't invented chickens yet!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Swimmy.
Swimmy who?
Swimmy...........(very long pause).......................immy!

Me talking about the train of my wedding dress: It's really long and goes back to about there.
Kid: So that's why they have people carry it, so it doesn't get dirty?
Me: Yes.
Kid: You should have two little birds carry it!
Me: Like on Cinderella?
Kid: YEAH!