Kid Quotes 1-20

I know you've been waiting with bated breath since 1:10am to hear what great thing I've come up with to post. Well, I was a teacher for four years and wrote down as many of the funny things that the kids said that I could remember each day. Shevawn said that she missed the kids quotes, and I know that some of you have seen these all before. But seeing them again is always funny (I know. I still laugh every time I read them.) and I know a bunch of you haven't ever seen them. So I will be giving them to you in installments of 20. This should last a while. I will be starting with my first year of teaching (2003-2004) when I had an amazing group of 1st graders. They were my favorite class I had while teaching. Here are the little (mostly) angels:

I'll start with some of the jokes they told and then move right into the quotes. Enjoy!

Q: What do you call a banana split in half?

A: A banana split

Q: Why did the fish eat a cucumber?

A: He wanted to be a cucumber.

Q: What do you call a potato with clothes and a face?

A: Mr. Potato Head

Q: What did King Tut do?

A: "I want my mommy"

Q: Why did the cucumber say "go away" to the french fry?

A: Because cucumbers are juicier.

Q: What did the dog say after being attacked by the tiger?

A: Nothing. Dogs can't talk.

Q:What did the G say to the H?

A: I love you

Q: What do you call a flying skunk?

A: A smellicopter

Q: What do you call a squirrel eating a turkey?

A: A squirrel bawk bawk.

Q: What do you call a B marrying a Q?

A: A bar‑b‑que

Q: Why is my brother so skinny?

A: He eats lots of Laffy Taffy and when you laugh you lose a calorie.

First Grade Thoughts on Living By Yourself

"You can eat as much ice cream as you want!"

"You can stay up late, and watch TV, and eat popcorn!"

"You don't have to worry about burglars because they only live in New York and places like that."

"It wouldn't be good because you wouldn't get allowance and then you couldn't buy any food."

"If you lived in Africa, and lions attacked you, who would protect you?"

~~~~~

First Grade Obsession With My Personal Life

Me starting to tell my class they're not going to have a spelling test next week...

Me: "I have a surprise for you! Next week I'm..."

Interrupting Kid: "...getting married?

Nosy Kid: "Miss Hartman why aren't you married?"

Me: "Well I haven't found someone who wants to marry me yet."

Encouraging Kid: "Don't worry Miss Hartman. Boys really do dig girls."

"When you get married, can I be your ring burier?"

"Have you ever kissed someone that isn't your mom or dad?"

"When you get married, you're not going to be Miss Hartman anymore. Are you going to get married this year?" (By the way, that would be no. I think Jon and I had maybe just started dating at that point.)